Whiney to Focused, Part 2

I’ve gotten some interesting responses to my previous blog ‘Whiney to Focused’ and it has only been online for six hours! So I thought I should give some additional info about that particular blog.

The ‘still small voice’ I talked about actually happened two months ago. And coincidentally enough, if you’ll look to the right column and notice my postings that are listed by month, you’ll see that is about the last time I posted on this blog.

Yes, God spoke to me and I knew it was from Him. But I didn’t want to write about it as it was intensely personal and very revealing of my own selfish ways. Yes, I know, you are aghast that I have them and frankly, so am I.

Unfortunately, like Jonah who ran the opposite direction when God talked to him, I stayed silent when God talked to me. But as God didn’t leave Jonah alone and find someone else to do the job, He didn’t leave me alone either. So this morning I knew I had to write and tell the WHOLE WORLD how instead of being grateful to still be alive to take another pill, I was whining and complaining about my life and how it is not what I wanted.

I, unlike the majority of Christians, find it very difficult living a Christian life. I actually get angry when someone is rude to me and have to bite my tongue to not reply in kind. And, instead of constantly having the peace of God in every situation I sometimes will get so frustrated that I actually have to take a walk to keep from hitting something or someone.

Yes, you read that right, instead of praying immediately I take a walk. What kind of Christian does that?! Never knew that about me, did you? Some of you don’t know how close you were to getting punched in the nose! Just kidding. Sorta.

I struggle frequently to keep from getting the ‘why me’s.’  And I’ll work on that.  I know I’m not the only one who has ever gotten cancer. And if I die from it I know I will not be the only one that has ever died from cancer. I lost a beloved grandmother to it and have read several stories in the news and on Facebook recently of much younger people, including precious children, who had their whole lives ahead of them, that have died from it.

I’d like to say that I will never complain about my life again because at least I am still here, but as I’ve already confessed, I’m not in that majority of Christians yet. But as I stated earlier, I’m working on it - because God won’t let me go the opposite direction too long. Oh, what a loving Father who won’t let me get that far from Him!