After Surgery

BE SURE TO READ THE UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM! GREAT NEWS!

I had my surgery last Tuesday at MD Anderson to remove my cancerous lymph nodes. They removed all that was under my left arm and left me with a drain to wear. That's because the lymph nodes process the body's fluid and when they're suddenly gone the body has to have time to process and find a way to re-route the fluid. So, until the daily count gets under 30cc's a day for two days in a row, I'm stuck with a drain. Did I ever mention this stuff makes me squeamish? Ugh!

My poor hubby has had to be my nurse as I cannot empty the drain myself. But he loves me more than he hates emptying drains so he has persevered to empty it several times a day. What a faithful, strong husband I have! He has been my rock through all of this!

Hopefully tomorrow I will get the drain removed! I was under 30cc's yesterday and so far today is looking right on target to be the same or lower. I will be so glad when this ball and chain is gone!

My arm hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I've had several surgeries and it seems the older I get the worse they hurt! I've been doing my therapy exercises regularly and the tougher ones I'm supposed to do after the drain is out. I noticed that the exercise instructions say that the pain is actually supposed to get worse in later weeks! Great.

Apparently as my nerve endings recuperate from the savagery of surgery I will be feeling pain more and more. I was wondering why the pain was getting worse instead of better! The pain medicine doesn't work very well and it makes me dizzy so I only take it at night to sleep. If only the heat flashes would leave me alone I might actually get a good nights sleep!

I am still waiting on the pathology results. Kinda scared to hear them actually. But God is always faithful to give me what I need when I need it. This week I have been reading a free book on my free Nook app I put on my iPhone; Max Lucado's 'The Greatest Gift' which features excerpts from some of Lucado's books. Here is the part that has touched me this week:

"There are times when God chooses to say no to the earthly request so he can say yes to the heavenly one. Doesn't he still do that today? Doesn't he use the challenge of the body to strengthen the soul? We need to remember that Peter was in a storm before he walked on water, Lazarus was in a grave before he came out of it, the demoniac was possessed before he was a preacher, and the paralytic was on a stretcher before he was in your Bible...We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him...Please don't interpret the presence of your disease as the absence of God's love. I pray he heals you. And he will, ultimately."

Hopefully, I will receive a miracle from God and get complete healing in my body. But if I don't, He will heal me, ultimately. Comforting words. Thank you, Lord, for giving them to Max to pass along to me!

Have a blessed Christmas!

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UPDATE!

I just got off the phone for the pathology report. Out of 20 lymph nodes removed they COULD NOT find cancer in any of them! They said this is very rare - I had a complete pathological response to the chemo. The enlarged lymph node was just fibrosis. God is good, awesome, amazing and still answering prayer and working miracles today! He deserves all the praise and glory for any good news! 

Thank you, Lord, and thanks to all of you for praying for me!

A Different Christmas Perspective

Cancer changes your perspective in so many ways. Especially when the doctors don't really know what type of cancer you have and so they cannot really make any confident predictions about your future.

Will my surgery next week to remove the cancerous lymph nodes under my arm cure me of cancer? Well...hopefully. But since the cancer is in my lymph nodes - a sign of advanced disease - who knows? Maybe the chemo and upcoming radiation therapy will take care of any microscopic cancer cells remaining in my body. Maybe.

But maybe not. My cancer could return at any time, which makes me think I better celebrate this holiday season as if it is my last, and that thought has given me a different perspective this time of year.

Wreath at MD Anderson for Auction

 Where some people see an overly commercialized Christmas season I see something else. I see a Christmas shopping season that puts most businesses in the black. They will have finally made enough money to cover the cost of running their business throughout the entire year, which makes it convenient for all of us. Just think of the places where we would not be able to window shop in May if it wasn't for 'the buying season' at Christmas keeping the business open. That is something I am thankful for.

Do some people 'overshop'? Sure, but that is a personal issue, just like when people overeat. They are compensating for a perceived lack of affection, or trying to measure up, or some other such shortcoming. Commercialization doesn't make people buy just as too many restaurants or too much food doesn't make people overeat. It is a perceived need, an unfulfilled want or sense of entitlement (I deserve this!) attitude that is spurring the behavior.

Another pretty wreath

So when I read, as I did this week, a well-known pastor's daily devotion where he was putting down the modern day celebration of Christmas and all it's 'hustle and bustle' I had a different perspective. I have spent most of the last 24 weeks in seclusion with my chemo and face spending the next several weeks at home recovery from my surgery. I miss the hustle and bustle! I miss hearing the Christmas music blaring over the store speakers. I miss seeing shiny new Christmas merchandise and shopping for presents for my loved ones. I may not get another chance!

I think Christmas represents how much God has given to us, even if we don't have much to spend. Because of Christ we have this season. Because of His love, we have been given loved ones to buy for. And if we don't have money to buy presents, because of Christ we have His word, which tells us that whatever state we find ourselves in we learn to be content.

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" 

Philippians 4:11 (Emphasis mine.)

Have you even noticed the word 'learn' in that verse before? Contentment is learned, it doesn't just happen. That was a revelation to me when I found that out.

Snowman!

  
  
Contentment is a learning process, it isn't just given to you or a feeling that could come or go. It is learned. If you are feeling discontent this Christmas season, if you are feeling it is to commercialized, too long, too expensive, too much of a hassle, too whatever - learn contentment by focusing on what is good during this season. Be glad for what you are able to do, where you are able to go and what you are allowed to see.

Reading through His word, meditating on His promises, remembering the birth of His son who was sent to guide you through your life, with all this contentment can be learned. And then you can find joy in the season. 

Merry Christmas!